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Stretch…Show Some Empathy



In a recent discussion with an HR leader @sandra-ihenacho we somehow landed on the subject of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). We shared how our common interest in EQ has seen us seek extended knowledge even beyond the shores of our geographical space – all in bid to explore the amazing phenomenon. In the end, we both admitted that EQ skills have relevance way beyond professional applications. EQ is for life! With significance for family, general relationships, decision making, stress management, managing conflict etc. Off the phone & done with the conversation, my mind drifted to a situation that occurred sometime early in the year….

My daughter had been penned to represent her school along with a few others at an inter-school competition. However, the D-day came & here was my daughter feeling all feverish & sick! The situation was not looking good at all. There was no way I would allow a sick child go for a brain wracking competition. It wouldn’t be right.

It was a disappointed me that picked up the phone to reach out to the particular teacher in charge of coordinating the children for the competition.

Finally being able to reach the teacher, I promptly told him about the unexpected situation. I profusely apologized for the disruption with the arrangement occasioned by my daughter’s sudden illness.

The man was gravely disappointed and he didn’t hide it. He expressed his frustration with the news stating that the school had no alternate replacement for my daughter. Since I couldn’t control the situation nor allow my daughter to go for the competition in her current state, I apologized again & hung off the phone.

I came off that conversation feeling really disturbed. The sheer lack of empathy by the teacher rocked me to my core! At no point in that telephone discuss did the teacher ask for the nature of illness or current state of my daughter. It was crystal clear that all he cared about was for my daughter’s representation of the school at that competition – no more no less! A part of me reasoned that he somehow forgot to do the needful in asking after my daughter’s state on account of the frustration and that with a little retrospection he would call back to correct the mistake. I was wrong. He never called. It’s some 7 months after that incident & I’m still yet to receive that call…

The incident left a very bitter taste in my mouth even till date.

Empathy is a vital competency in EQ. When people can step apart from themselves; become aware of the feelings of others & act in meaningful ways on account of that knowledge, magic happens! On account of this kind of awareness, we’re able to succeed in connecting with others in powerful ways thus increasing the co-operative quotient of others and hence our own productivity quotient. We function in truly noble ways reaping good will in the process. Ultimately, we live richer & fuller lives!

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